Dear fifteen year old self:
Happy birthday, sister sue! Today is the day- the big 28. I know it seems light years away, but you will get there. Promise. I was listening to the radio and a song came on, "Fifteen". Its a song to your fifteen year old self, however with a few pointers. I thought I'd take a little time and write to you. You know, giving you a couple of tips. I mean, why jump in the mud puddle if you don't have to.
-Actually listen to dad. Slow down. And don't be so heavy on the brake. You will get in a couple of fender benders. Yes, they are your fault.
- I know, I know! Its important to study. Duh. But please, take the time to go out every once in awhile in high school. I mean it. Its not going to kill you. Don't be so vanilla. In fact, I know you are going to surprise yourself. Making excuses for the good times that you could POSSIBLY be having is ridiculous.
- That guy in high school English? Yeah, the cute one? I know you're on the fence about him. Date him. In the end, you will get your heart broken. You will cry and listen to stuff like Boys II Men. I know, you don't even like Boys II Men. It will feel like a huge blow.You will not understand and it will be his loss, but that is ok. Its just a rite of passage. You will learn , no, actually realize, for the first time, how powerful feelings really can be.
- Let me just help you out now. Invest yourself in some curl cream, frizz control serum and a flat iron. Either your hair can be naturally curly like Andie McDowell OR flat flat flat. Poufy is not an option.
-Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Really. You don't have to have all your crap together. It will take you at least the next 10+ years to figure this one out, if you don't listen to me now.
- Glitter body lotion doesn't look good on anyone. At all.
- Your faith. Don't, don't lose sight of it. It is ok to question it. In fact, when you get to college, you will question it. You will question it even more when you get out. That is ok. It means you are growing. Its hard to see that right now, when you are amidst the superficial youth group. Keep going to Bible study, keep hanging out with good quality friends. But make the right decisions for you. Pray about it, seek some guidance, and move on. Sometimes He calls us to jump. Jump, damn it.
- Speaking of college- don't start off as a pharmacy major. That is a 1.4 GPA headache at home. The parentals will not be happy. Pick something like..... speech pathology? Just a hunch...
- The guy from theater class. Nope. Not worth it.
-Your first job will be the current job that you have. You will absolutely love it. Start getting excited! When they tell you how much you will be making- cheer!! Scream! Call mom!! Hooray. Can you believe it? Benefits?? Just know that it will get better.
- When you get that job, little will you know that you will be working with some of your best friends. Speak to them! You will only be best friends with them sooner! Believe it or not, they will be a source of faith and comfort in the next few years. And they will go to see Twilight with you. More about that in a few years...
- Don't worry about grad school. He will provide a way, the finances and the talents for you to go. Remember to thank Him everyday for the passion you love.
- For the love of Pete, STOP buying Target blouses. Yes, they are cute- I know. They tear up easily. And you spend more money. It will be a vicious cycle. Just stop. Target shoes, however, you're still golden.
- Your twenty's will be an exact opposite of emotions. You will both experience a love for a person so deep that it becomes your only sight but also heartache so painful it leaves you blinded. Sigh. You will still be on the wave at 28. Know this. Life is to short for grief. Life is to short to be alone. And life is to short to be without Him.
I hope this helps you. Fifteen is rough, but you will be fine. I love you!
P.S. and for God's sake, stand up! Pull your boobies back, you have some awful posture!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Long time no chat, eh?
Right, I know, that's my fault. I'm sorry.
Today, I COULD put up pics of things I've been doing- how my summer is going, pictures of the pool. Fun pictures from Pinterest that I think are notable and/or crafty. Pictures of awkward Kristen Stewart and how she and R. Patz are on the possible outs (sad? I know, me too)
Today, though, I think I'll just talk. Talk about something that's been floating in my mind for a few days. Weeks. Months.
A simple little word that I've learned is one our most delicate feelings. It can cause us to strive for more. Worry pushing us to be better; do better. A good kick in the pants, making us more productive. But, without control, it can burn like cheap, late night throat spray, singeing out ability to think, feel, and reason logically.
How do you handle worry? What kind of person do turn into? From what I gather, there's a few different types, right? We-ve all seen them. The "hand-wringer"- who can't make ANY kind of decision, the "chewer"- the person who thinks and chews on an idea, re-thinks, talks about, re-thinks again, etc. There is the "skinny" worrier- the girl whose problems are so severe she can't eat. What about "gastro-intestinal" worrier... well, lets not go there. And maybe lastly, the "over-medicated" worrier- the one who chews enough Xanax, you'd swear it was Halloween the way she's popping those "Sweet Tarts".
But, I'm not any of those. I think I'm a "duck and squat"- the one who has to curl up, be real still and cover their head, like some imaginary tornado is passing over them. Sort of a non-worrier. Right now, I'm in a tornado. I'm mid squat, covering my big, poufy hair, hoping and praying I don't get assaulted by thrown debris. My eyes are glazed over by new decisions I have to make or learn how to make. I feel weird. And trippy. And unable to answer most questions.
But you know, that's ok.
Its ok to be glazed over and not have the answers right at that moment. To be able to just shrug your shoulders, not knowing what to say.
It took me awhile to realize that no matter what kind of worrier you are, there WILL be a time where it will end. When you won't wring your hands, when you can go back to actually eating, and when I can stand up from my squat- that my storm, for the time being, is over.
It will come soon. I'm hanging in there. Even if it means that I have to squat to do so.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Happy Weekend to ya'.
Are you on Instagram?
Shut the front door, me too!
I'm MemphisLindsey- let's be friends!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
I mean, I just can't seem to make up my mind.
Yesterday I woke up with a vast To-Do list.
And I'm pretty sure re-painting the buffet and a chest of drawers was not on the list.
Nevertheless, did I
drag recruit a bud to help me in the middle of what feels like Hell's Breath outside.
Yes, yes, I did.
Haha- She's a good friend.
I woke up itching to paint and since apparently the buffet gets painted every summer, sure, sounds like a great idea.
Annd sure, lets also throw in a chest of drawers to the mix.
A funny tid bit about my sweet brother.
For the longest time he thought "chest of drawers" was called "Chester drawers". He once asked who "Chester" was.
So, here we are painting and sweating our tails off. Also, pretty positive we're saying a few choice words in the heat. Everyone received a nice, simple facelift.
Clean. Fresh. Stark white.
And it looks so good.