Im Not Giving Up..

Yeah.

Long time no chat, eh?

 Right, I know, that's my fault. I'm sorry.

 Today, I COULD put up pics of things I've been doing- how my summer is going, pictures of the pool. Fun pictures from Pinterest that I think are notable and/or crafty. Pictures of awkward Kristen Stewart and how she and R. Patz are on the possible outs (sad? I know, me too)

Today, though, I think I'll just talk. Talk about something that's been floating in my mind for a few days. Weeks. Months.

Worry.

A simple little word that I've learned is one our most delicate feelings. It can cause us to strive for more. Worry pushing us to be better; do better. A good kick in the pants, making us more productive. But, without control, it can burn like cheap, late night throat spray, singeing out ability to think, feel, and reason logically. 

How do you handle worry? What kind of person do turn into? From what I gather, there's a few different types, right? We-ve all seen them. The "hand-wringer"- who can't make ANY kind of decision, the "chewer"- the person who thinks and chews on an idea, re-thinks, talks about, re-thinks again, etc. There is the "skinny" worrier- the girl whose problems are so severe she can't eat. What about "gastro-intestinal" worrier... well, lets not go there. And maybe lastly, the "over-medicated" worrier- the one who chews enough Xanax, you'd swear it was Halloween the way she's popping those "Sweet Tarts".

 But, I'm not any of those. I think  I'm a "duck and squat"- the one who has to curl up, be real still and cover their head, like some imaginary tornado is passing over them. Sort of a non-worrier. Right now, I'm in a tornado. I'm mid squat, covering my big, poufy hair, hoping and praying I don't get assaulted by thrown debris. My eyes are glazed over by new decisions I have to make or learn how to make. I feel weird. And trippy. And unable to answer most questions.

But you know, that's ok.

Its ok to be glazed over and not have the answers right at that moment. To be able to just shrug your shoulders, not knowing what to say.

It took me awhile to realize that no matter what kind of worrier you are, there WILL be a time where it will end. When you won't wring your hands, when you can go back to actually eating, and when I can stand up from my squat- that my storm, for the time being, is over.

It will come soon. I'm hanging in there. Even if it means that I have to squat to do so. 



To: You

I just saw you.

And though I know you'll never read this, never find this, won't even blink twice, I had to tell you.
I've tried to share, but it still doesn't really come out exactly the way I want it to.

It's beyond cliche, and yes, possibly a tinge over-dramatic. Well, way over-dramatic.

It's exactly the way I wish I didn't feel.

But I DO feel this way.
I know you like them, too.

 I had to tell you.

To: You

Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles; coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science; science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Hiding

Looking for me??

...wait, that's not me.

I'm hiding over at Hillary's blog today. Hillary is a dear, old friend. I mean, we go w-a-y back. Think: white shoes and ankle socks in 1st grade Sunday School. A wickedly talented Memphis artist, she has a fan-TAB-ulous eye for art and style. Check her and her beautiful pieces out. I promise, you will love her, too!! 

Spring Break Worker Bee

Hello Spring Break, it's nice that you're here again.

9 GLORIOUS, empty days lie before me.

Ahhh.

I think I'll take a day to lounge around, watching endless episodes of People's Court, but what am I going to do the rest of the time, you ask?  Yeah, I was wondering that, too. I certainly don't want to waste it all. In a free moment this afternoon, I made myself a To-Do List. It just helps me, umm... organize..  People's Court amongst my fun things.

1- READ, READ, READ. Now that Grad School is over, I've had the availability to read to my heart's content. And read, I have.  Let me tell you, it's been just deliciously wonderful. Staying up late, with blankets over my head, soaking in the coziness. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

 This is just some of  my little Goodwill stash that I keep. Like a nerdy junkie. It's a total high walking away with some bestsellers for pennies.

2- CLEAN and PURGE. I'm trying not to shop, so I guess I need to Spring Clean. I mean, everyone has to this time of year, right?

3- EAT MINDFULLY- You guys know that I eat terribly. I'm really surprised (and profusely thankful) that I'm not on one of those awful TLC TV shows. For a few weeks (or months), I've tried to incorporate more fruits/veggies/ lean meats. And this goes great for a few meals, but then my hands shake start to shake and I inhale some Sbarro mall food and wash it down with a Diet Coke  give in. Oddly enough, also like a junkie (I sense a theme here). And the cycle continues. This will be a good week to practice better habits. At least, my hands can shake in the privacy of my house while I try to inhale some broccoli.

4- ORGANIZE SOME THOUGHTS ON PK INTERVENTION.... AND TEACH IT.  A few months ago, I had the kind offer to substitute teach a class on PK speech/language intervention at my undergrad Alma Mater, Ole Miss. It just so happens to be at the end of this week. Now, the hard part of gathering some ideas so I don't sound like a bumbling idiot. And while we're at it, let's take a vote: Powerpoint or Handout? I feel like I'm gonna need one or the other.

5- QUILT- I know, I know, start it already. But I kinda have. I've practiced on some scraps, getting the quilting process down. You should see my gnarly looking pot holder-esque squares.

6- MISC. CRAFTING- Of course, at some point I'll try to sneak a paint project or craft in somewhere. I just can't help it.

What do you do on an extended vacation??

    



Creature of Habit

 There are few things in life that I love more than stumbling upon an epic find. 

Trying out some new product, thing, or idea and...

--SURPRISE-- 

It completely changes you. Your life becomes better, easier, faster, sunnier, no matter how trivial. And then you like them so much, you keep going back to them. And you buy 4 of them. Cue the Julie Andrew's music.

 Here are a few of my Favorite Things.. well, as of lately.

1) Old Navy Rockstar Skinny Jeans

Oh, how I love these. I never thought exposing so much of my leg could make me feel so.. liberated. They have just enough stretch that I can feel comfortable eating my beloved McDonald's Filet o Fish for lunch. And I'm kinda digging the the collection of Rainbow Bright colors. 

2) Target Milena Wedge

The perfect shoe. Not a heel and not a flat. Simple enough for dressy days. Simple enough for errands. They come in simple colors. Perfect.

3) Pinky- White Nude Nail Polish

I've really re-kindled a love for polish. But as much as I'm loving it again, only my toesies are seeing the colors. My hands, however, are on a quest for the perfect pinky-white nude.

OPI's Bubble Bath has been satisfying my craving, lately.

4) Urban Outfitters Scarves

Mmmm.. a more recent find.  I can't quite explain it, they're a bit grungy, a bit casual, and a bit glamorous. One of those infinity scarves can't be beat.

5) Benefit Cosmetics

Amidst the wave of mineral make-ups, buffing brushes, and "barely there looks", I think I'm the last person on the Earth that wears a full liquid foundation+pancake concealer. Everyday. There's just something about "cheerleader competition" make-up that I swoon over. Benefit is a great little line out of CA. They have some beautiful things in a kinda kitchy, retro wrap. Just playing with the samples at Sephora just gives me the willies inside.

6) Music

That sounds like most cliche-est answer ever.

But it's true.

 My family has always loved music. Drewsie and I still don't think twice about calling each other just to catch up and share a couple of great songs. But in the last half year, I've taken a real nose dive back into it. Old stuff, TV jingles, radio music, dance music, and stuff I would have never even considered. It just makes me feel.. together- like I have my head on straight. Like a big gulp of water. And I like that feeling now.

Here, let me give you a smidge.

*  The complete Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band album- The Beatles

* "Video Games" and "Diet Mt. Dew"- Lana Del Rey

* "As Much as I Ever Could" -City and Colour

*  "Holocene" -Bon Iver

*The complete Brothers album- The Black Keys

* "End of the Line" and "Comeback Kid"- Sleigh Bells

* The classical piece  Clair de Lune

*The 30 #1's- Elvis Presley

* some Iron and Wine

* " You're a Wolf" - Sea Wolf

* The Karen O and Trent Reznor cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song"

What are some of your constant favorites? Do YOU have some "til death do we part" items?

 

 

EPL Nugget

You guys know I'm always reading.

On a whim, I picked up Eat Pray Love while running around Goodwill.

It was .99, so, mehh, why not read it?

It's not too bad. Alot of reading her personal thoughts on her quest for pleasure, meditation and the balance between them, while she visits some suh-weet countries. 

A bit hokie in some parts, but I can relate as I want to be a better me, too.

In the middle of a particularly heavy section of Yoga poses and Ommmmm's, I found a fan-tab-ulous little passage that I've been thinking and praying about. It just really spoke to me. It's just the right amount for a long run on the treadmill.

"Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship- a play between divine grace and willfull self-effort. Half of it you have no control over, half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequence. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses-one foot is on the horse called "fate", the other on the horse called "free will". And the question you have to ask every day is - which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it's not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?

There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiciton. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can eat and read and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life- whether I will see them as curses or opportunities ( and on the occasions when I can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I'm feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of my voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

                                                                                  --Eat Pray Love

  Everyone has hard times, but I am learning to be able to choose the high road. Be the better person. Choose the right attitude. And then as a reward, choose the right pair of on-sale shoes.

Kidding.

Kinda.



Mats

Happy Weekend, friends.

Because of Parent-Teacher Conferences and President's Day, I'm the proud owner of a 4-day weekend. Yabba Dabba Doo!

Yesterday was spent being HIGHLY productive with the most mundane of tasks. Things you really dread doing, but have to eventually accomplish.  I mean, I no doubtedly set a  record. One of these tasks? Cleaning out my the car.. (insert scary music).

It wasn't SO bad. Lo and behold, I had a friend who needed to clean her car out, as well. And to build this excitement of car cleaning, she shared that she would be taking her car mats to the laundromat to wash them and did I need mine washed as well?

Yes, my friend washes her car mats in the industrial washers at the laundromat.

Genius.

Why hadn't I thought of that?

Off we trooped.

With soap, mats and quarters. Lots of quarters.

And what followed?

An impromptu photo shoot. And clean mats.

 

Ketchup

I've been on hiatus, friends. Yes, I've missed you, too. While I have no real post in mind and warning you of the randomness, let's  "ketchup", shall we?

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My little-bloggy turned one... uhhh a few days ago. A whole year of writing and rants- I still can't believe it's been that long. I've had fun writing, thus far, and am glad I've stuck with it. High five for dedication!  A special thanks to you for reading- and giving back your humorous feedback!

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I'll tell you a little secret.

Shh..

Don't tell though.

I've not put up even ONE holiday decoration  or bought ANY Christmas presents.

Gasp.

I know.

Scrooge just can't seem to get it together.

I love looking at everyone else's beautiful trees, ornaments, menorahs, snowmen and such.

And usually, I am all over it. But, alas, we are bare over here.

I'm not sure what it is, it feels like I am waiting on something??

Perhaps I'll try to work on it this weekend.. Perhaps...

What DO I love, however??

This HUGE free tutorial kit of some fab DIY decorations/ideas from Jones Design Company.

Man, she's got some lovely stuff..

I made a few things from it last year.

And when I actually DO get around to presents, I am going to go back and grab her gift tags. So cute!

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Got the best little email saying my December Birchbox has been shipped, and on it's way!Just love the little pink package in the mail!

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Here are a few precious things that I got to hear this week, at work:

* Mrs. Lindsey, I know how to brush my teeth, now..(I would hope so, you are in the 3rd grade)

* Mrs. Lindsey, I wear an 18-20 in pants now. I am a real grown-up boy. What size do you wear?

* Mrs. Lindsey, I know what sound a peacock makes.. (Ummmm, what then??)

My favorite:

 A group of older kids were working on inferencing. I read the prompt:

"We all got down the board. Mary rolled the dice. Janet collected two rental properties. Dave passed GO and collected $200"

I asked them: a) what were they doing, and b) what key words help you to know

One boy wipes his brow, nervously looking at his teammates. With a whisper, he answers:

"Gambling??"

Hahaha....

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Black polish is my favorite in the winter

Purr.. and a Blog Sale?

Happy Halloween, friends!

I decided to go up to Nashville for the weekend and visit the BF. She had some church-friend Halloween parties on her list, and she so kindly invited me up. She is a "speechy" too, and totally rocks some AAC equipment. 

As you can see, we decided to  "theme" it. Fighting crime all nite long. However, she makes a more convincing Batgirl, than my Wal-mart Catwoman.

Meow.

I was unpacking last nite, and gave my closet a double take. There are several items I have that still have tags on them, tags pulled but never worn, or worn maybe once, that I KNOW I won't get around to wearing. I am toying with the idea of a blog sale.

Let me round everything up, and let you know!

You've Got to Hind Your Love Away....

Sometimes it is perfectly acceptable to hide. Put a blanket on your head, and hide.

I've come home with a case of the aches.

Either I REALLY "worked it out" at step aerobics ( gurrrrl, I can work some "step-touch now) or the flu is whispering my name.

I wish I was crafting. I wish I was DIY'ing.

Tonight it's me and the blanket.

And a Robitussin induced coma.

Sniff, sniff.

Missing Missoni...

A few weeks ago, as I was casually perusing through some TV, I heard that Target was coming out with a new clothing line. You know, those "famous" ones that run for a few weeks, featuring a handful of unique pieces?

When I heard it would be Missoni, I was over the moon excited!

Funky patterns, capes, knitwear, and sweater bathing suits with a kinda 70's retro vibe.

I mean, duh, we ALL need a sweater bathing suit.
But it still would be fun to see it up close.

So, after work, I stomp to my local Target and what do I see?

Nothing.

Nada.

Zilch.

Hmmm.

After careful "review of the situation" (ok, polite grilling of the random 16-year old boy clerk), I learn that they are all SOLD OUT, excpet for a few larger sizes, and mis-matched pairs of rain boots.

Cheese and rice.

 It was a "swarm of women fighting over this stuff", he shared.

"Women buying 6 or 7 of the same thing. I heard lots of ladies were going to re-sell it on eBay. And they told us our website crashed."

Hrmph, I thought.

Missoni, I guess I'll be missing you.

To Boot or Not to Boot...

To boot or not to boot.

Specifically, the Steve Madden Intyce-cognac.

That is the question.

  It seems like EVERYONE and their momma has a pair. I see them everywhere. With dresses. With pants. With skirts. With skinnies.

 So naturally, I've kept my eye on them.

Literally.

Did I spend the second half of a college football game last year, head down, counting pairs seen, to pass the time?

Maybe.

But that is beside the point.

  But gosh dern, they are just too cute.

My only reservation?

The " not-so-savvy"  $149.00 price tag.

(Feel free to insert long, low whistle)

I know, right?

I don't think I've ever spent that much on one thing, unless it was furniture to re-paint.

Would you go for them? Intyce-boot "wear-ers", have your boots "held up" and have they maintained their loveliness?

Smashin' Fashion

True to my word, here's a few fashion pics from the game.

 A warning about the dress code: Ole Miss ladies and gents LOVE a chance to dress up. So why not combine a love of dressing up with football?

  Seersucker, pearls, blazers, sky-high heels, and collared shirts The more ridiculous, the better. You can't walk five feet without seeing some girl teetering on too-high shoes, or a Frat-Daddy sweating to death in his blazer. 

 I wish I knew why, but it's just the way we are.

Here are a few of my faves while I was waiting in the stands:

These gals- both CUTE and comfy

A SUH-weet pair of pants

Last, but not least, my personal favorite.

This poor gent has on his Paw-Paw hat, a a blazer, bowtie, dress shirt, SHORTS and loafers.

Classic Ole Miss.



Random, totally off-topic P.S. 

Have you had a chance to see the new Pioneer Woman cooking show on The Food Network? So, SO cute!

Treats for the Studious..

Hallelujah-I'm finished!

I wrapped up all of my course work, late last nite. It was all due at midnight, and I coasted to the finished line at 11:50.

Slow and steady wins the race!

What did I do to celebrate?

Found myself a few "happys", of course. Here's just a hodge-podge of things I nabbed up.

My newest love for fall?

Shorts and tights. It might sound silly, but I am digging it.

Take a look at this pic:

 Are you digging, too? A pal and I were at Anthropologie, I pounced on some silk, knee-length "camp counselor" shorts:

Before I sport these, I need work on waif-ing up my legs!



I finally broke down and got my desert wedge boots. Like I have researched EVERY boot on the planet it seems.

While I do love this MIA style, I grabbed a different pair. They are more brown than this picture and don't have the menswear details.

Lastly, I snatched up an ON SALE purse. I've needed a new one, and I was in the right place, at the right time! Don'tcha love that? Too bad, no pics of this one.

So that's it. Just a few things for the fall! So ready for cooler temps!

On a sad note, RIP Sony camera. You have been faithful, but I am not sure why you are throwing a temper tantrum and not syncing to the computer anymore. You are old and worn out, and I am considering replacing you with a newer, cooler friend, the DSLR camera.

Go Shawty..

  Gonna party like its my birthday.

Because it is!

You see, it's my birthday today and I'm 27.

 I'm still quite a "baby" or  "teensy-of-a-thing", as I'm described by the Civil War patients I work with.

So, today is kinda random. Nothing on the agenda. And because I am drawing a blogging blank- I'll just share 27 random facts about me, and we'll call it even-steven, eh?

(Warning: a long post ahead)

1.  I've never had a peanut-butter-jelly sandwich. Ever. Thinking about it sends me into sensory overload. Blech.

2. I have 2 brothers named Drew. Kinda. One real one. And a brother-in-law. Both Drewsies are wonderful men, and I am blessed to know and love them both. Oh what's that you say? Yes, yes, I'm sorry they are both taken.

3. My first pair of "grown up" lady shoes were for my 8th grade graduation. They bared a striking resemblance to this lovely:

 I somehow convinced me Mom that I both NEEDED them and could wear them. They were a super high, clunky Mary Jane platform, 90's style that no 8th grader should wear. I stomped around in them like I was Queen of the World. Thus, beginning my love affair with shoes.

4. If I wasn't an "almost speech pathologist", I think I would be a chef.

5. I played the viola for 6 1/2 years. It's a little bit bigger than a violin.

6. I have a STRONG dislike for milk, mayo, and olives.

7. I've needed glasses with bi-focals since the 3rd grade. I know what you're thinking. 

8. My initials spell L.A.M.E

9. A short story: I was born with stick straight hair. In the 2nd grade, I got a perm. And it has NEVER washed out. My hair has remained horrendously curly since then. Praise Jesus for a flat iron!

10. Do you know some people who like LOVE "edges" on foods? "Edges" on brownies, cakes, rolls? I am not one of those people. I will purposefully dig my way in the middle of your perfect brownie pan, just so I won't have an "edge". Sorry in advance.

11. My Mother-in- Law's first name is a fruit. No, not cantaloupe, guess again.

12. I still make my bed everyday.

13. I wore leopard print high heels on my wedding day.

14. I have a tattoo. Where? Mine is more of a "Tramp- Stamp". Kidding. No, its of an ichthus on my lower back. It's a Christian symbol used when Christianity was forbidden in Rome.

I would love to get more tattoos. I've always loved them. I think the alter ego to my Ann Taylor- Banana Republic self is Kat Von D. She is just so lovely.

15. I don't have an iPhone. Gasp!

16.My family and I have a special tradition of going to get breakfast. On days when I am not working or around holidays, it's not unusual for one of us to call on a moments notice for some pancakes.

17. I would say I'm an expert at winning things on the radio. Something about the thrill of knowing random bathroom or music trivia appeals to me. I've won countless movie passes, concert tickets, CD, movies, and we won a trip to NY. Yeah, I'm pretty good.

18. I was 2 credits shy of a minor in French. Why did I pick French? I'm not sure, either.

19. If I fall down ANYTIME, i.e tripping, falling off a stool or chair, misstepping, I will ALWAYS cry. I can't help it. I think it just scares me.

20. MY Drew (not my brother in law, Drew) and I once made a music video to the Bee Gee's  "Staying Alive".

21. I believe I have forgotten how to write in cursive. When I have to fill out some lines that make you write a statement in cursive, swearing an oath, I just write in print with some little squiggles.



22. I love make-up so much. More specifically, I love wearing a ton of it. Seldom will I go anywhere without it ALL on. Thick and heavy.  In 6th grade mom took me to the Clinique counter, and said "if I was to wear it, I would wear it right".

23. Being a collector is in my blood. I've seen my days of trolls, Beanie Babies, Native American paraphernalia and semi-precious rock boxes.

24. I can chew 1 piece of gum all day- and frequently do.

25. I know how to ski. Actually, quite well.

26. As a stress reliever, I take Zumba classes at the Y. It's where I shake my money-maker.

LAST, but not least.

27. I am thankful for a wonderful life filled with family and dear friends! So blessed.