Thursday, July 7, 2011

Awkward-Awesome Thursday- Medical Edition

     -cat calls from the Valet Parking 'gents. That I have to walk in front of everyday. I mean, really? Really? It's not even 8, I'm wearing scrubs, I have a 1992 clip claw in my hair, and I'm pretty sure I have on yesterday's makeup.
     - talking with a patient about oral hygiene and realizing halfway through my "schpil" she has no clothes on from the waist down. Umm, cause I know I was geeked out, not sure if she felt the same way.
     -trying to convince someone that honey-thick lemon flavored water is "delicious".
    - (insert yelling voice) "no sir, I'm not your daughter. My name is Lindsey. I'm here to see how well you are swallowing. No, not Rubie. No sir, not Leslie. Lindsey. No sir, you almost had it. Yes sir, I know it sounds like Laney. I'm Lindsey". Yeah, I just went with Mindy the rest of the time. 
     - crammed in an elevator with 2 wheelchair'd patients, a floor food cart, 4 other therapists, and an air tank. The silence and eye avoidance was giving me the creeps.
     - watching a robbery take place. The 90 year old thief in question had just guzzled 2 cans of Ensure and had stashed 4 in her wheelchair.

     -I have a boyfriend. He is 89. He tells me the date and shuffles to the calendar to mark it off. We talk about the old days, but I just nod politely. He guesses my age, and every time he gasps in real surprise that I'm 27. It immediately follows with, "You don't look a day over 19". I tell him "it takes one to know one". He roars with laughter.
     -how it is so nice when people go out of their way to make you comfortable, when you are a fish out of water. A cold, flopping fish on the cement.
      - a nice writing pen. know what I'm talking about. The ones that are advertised with a  "comfort grip" and don't glob up all over the place.
     - the shredder box. I just love using one, and the feeling I get when shredding.

1 comment:

Mrs. Clark Bar said...

Oh lordy lordy. I'm a full-time SLP in a hospital and this post made my laugh so hard!! Awkward: Old men holding onto you with their hands just a little too low...and they totally know it!
And seriously, honey-thick ANYTHING is not good.

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